4 Signs Your Nervous System is Dysregulated (and How to Start Healing)
Feeling off but can’t put your finger on why? Your nervous system might be stuck in overdrive—here’s how to tell and start healing.
You hit snooze three times this morning, dragged yourself out of bed feeling like you got hit by a truck, and by 10 PM tonight you'll be lying there staring at the ceiling, mind racing about tomorrow's to-do list.
Sound familiar?
Your nervous system is brilliantly designed to swing between two states: sympathetic (fight/flight) and parasympathetic (rest/digest). It's supposed to activate when you need it, then return to calm. But in our always-on world, that switch is getting jammed.
Constant notifications, chronic stress, irregular sleep, and 24/7 stimulation keep us stuck in survival mode. This ancient system is designed to respond to acute, physical threats - think running from a lion (not battling your inbox), then returning to safety and rest.
Today, life hits us with chronic, low-level stressors that never fully resolve, like overflowing inboxes, endless Zoom calls, and social media doom-scrolling.
The result? An overactive fight-or-flight response that never gets to fully turn off. Over time, this reduces your system's ability to shift between activation and rest states. You get stuck in persistent sympathetic (fight-or-flight) activation, which creates a host of problems.
We're wired but tired, reactive instead of responsive, and running on empty.
Our nervous system—that beautifully designed machine that's supposed to help us thrive—becomes the thing that’s hurting our health and our well-being. We're stuck in survival mode in a world that's relatively safe but feels constantly threatening to our nervous system.
Here are 4 signs your nervous system is dysregulated and how to start healing:
4. Every day seems to start backward: If you find that you wake up tired and go to bed feeling wide awake, this is a clear indication of nervous system dysregulation. Being tired and wired means that even if you’re doing all of the sleep hygiene things, your mind and body are not able to swing to the parasympathetic rest and digest mode at night.
This also means that the sleep you get is disrupted by the stress you are experiencing, which can further compound stress because not sleeping is stressful for the mind and body.
And you don’t even have to “feel stressed” for this to be occurring. The biological processes that underpin this can occur without the emotional feelings of stress.
A first step to helping this problem seems counter-intuitive, but getting morning light will actually help you sleep better at night because it syncs your circadian rhythm. Morning light is one of the most powerful nervous system resets. Try to get outside within 30–60 minutes of waking to sync your internal clock.
Bedtime routine: Add to that a really specific nighttime routine that tells your body it’s time for sleep. Ideally this happens at the same time every day (you might find routine boring, but your body loves it!) and involves slowing yourself down, skipping the scroll, and hanging out in low lighting.
If it’s the middle of the night when you wake up, try putting an ice pack wrapped in a cloth on your chest, this stimulates the vagus nerve. Or you can try a Huberman approved Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) protocol, more info on that here.
3. Burning down the house - You're either always freezing (even when others are comfortable) or sweating at inappropriate times - sometimes both in the same day. Your body's internal thermostat seems broken, leaving you constantly adjusting layers or feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.
Thermoregulation is a vital function of the autonomic nervous system in response to cold and heat stress. When your nervous system is dysregulated, due to stress, this temperature control system can get out of whack.
Feeling unusually hot/cold, excessive sweating, or being unable to regulate body temperature are common with a dysregulated nervous system. While hormones, weather, or even your favourite sweater might play a role, your nervous system is actually the command centre for temperature regulation.
Most people don't connect their sweating patterns, and might think that they are just a “sweaty person” but it can actually be a nervous system stuck in overdrive. (Yep, stress sweat smells different—thanks, apocrine glands).
For both hot and cold issues, breathwork, specifically slow, deep breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system can reduce sympathetic overdrive.
You can also try Temperature contrast therapy: alternate between warm and cool (not extreme) - like a warm shower ending with 30 seconds of cooler water. This "teaches" your nervous system to be more flexible and responsive.
Also: Stay hydrated - dehydration makes temperature regulation even harder.
2. Your emotions have two settings: numb or explosion - You either feel completely disconnected and going through the motions, or one small thing (like someone not texting back) sends you into a spiral of anger, tears, or panic that is disproportionate to the situation.
This "numb or explosion" pattern is your nervous system swinging between shutdown (dorsal vagal) and overdrive (sympathetic) because it can't find or maintain the regulated state in between. You can no longer find "sweet spot" where feelings are manageable and proportionate.
That sweet spot is the ventral vagal state—aka your calm, steady zone where you can feel your feelings without drowning in them.
Here we want to use Emotional regulation practices:
The STOP technique - When you feel the explosion building, literally say "STOP" and take 3 deep breaths before responding
Name it to tame it - "I'm feeling overwhelmed right now" or "This feels bigger than it should" - labeling emotions helps regulate them.
The middle ground check-in - Throughout the day, ask "How am I feeling right now?" to catch emotions before they swing to extremes.
Sensory grounding - Hold an ice cube, smell something strong, or listen to music to "wake up" your nervous system if you’re feeling numb.
1. You say yes when you mean no (and hate yourself for it) - Your boundaries are basically suggestions. You overcommit, take on everyone else's problems, and then feel resentful and exhausted, but the thought of disappointing someone feels impossible to handle.
When your nervous system is dysregulated, your threat detection system is hypersensitive. Saying "no" or setting a boundary can feel genuinely dangerous because your nervous system sees any potential conflict, disappointment, or rejection as a threat to survival. So you default to saying "yes" to maintain safety/connection, even when it's harmful to you.
Your nervous system isn’t failing you—it's just been trained to equate boundaries with danger.
People-pleasing becomes a survival strategy - if you keep everyone happy, you stay safe. But this keeps your nervous system in chronic hypervigilance, constantly scanning for others' needs while neglecting your own.
To start creating some boundaries, there are a few handy tools you can start using right away.
The pause practice - Never say yes immediately - "Let me check my schedule and get back to you" buys you time to check in with yourself.
Gut check - Before answering, notice: does this request make your body feel heavy/tight (no) or light/open (yes)? See if you can feel it in your chest or abdomen.
Start microscopic - Practice saying no to tiny, low-stakes things first (like "Do you want dessert?" when you don't).
Script it - "I can't take that on right now, but I hope you find someone who can help".
Ask for what you need - Even small asks like an afternoon to yourself can put you on the path of asserting your needs and having a more blanched focus.
If you’re nodding your head right now going, oh shit, I have all four, I must be so dysregulated - take heart. There are simple things you can do every day to start working toward more balance.
Start small. Be kind to yourself.
It took you a while to get dysregulated, and it will likely take some time to get back.
All of these practices work better if you do them regularly, this ain’t a one-and-done kind of thing. If you want to sleep well at night, you need to be doing grounding practices during the day to get the most out of them.
Now, I’d love to hear from you:
Which one hit home for you? Let’s chat in the comments.
I’ve noticed temperature troubles before. Never connected it with stress.
Yesterday was a hard day for me. There were too many demands early in the day, multiple business meetings, a lot of rushing around. And then I got offered a cookie before I ate lunch, which I fell for. I was craving all kinds of junk food for the rest of the day because of that cookie. I crashed hard about 2 in the afternoon but still had to keep going. I had a long drive and I couldn’t seem to get comfortable with the temp, kept shutting off the AC and then getting too hot and turning it back on.
Methods to bring awareness to opportunities within our control 👊🏻